It’s so easy to feel discouraged. It’s not always so easy to get back into the flow; find the swirl of light, beauty, and ease that awaits us.
How to climb back to the light? That is the age old question many of us grapple with, sometimes more often than not.
I think this is how religions began, from us trying to regain a sense of one-ness, connectedness that we once experienced.
When I was about 3 or 4 years old, my uncle got married & then his wife became pregnant. I wondered “Where were we before we were born? And, how does god know when to send one of us out (as a baby)?”
I thought it was “The Kiss” (you may kiss the bride) that triggered it…
I asked my dad about these things. He became very quiet; I could tell he was uncomfortable, he finally told me to go ask my mother.
Maybe I should have, she gave me some interesting information in those days (like how a neighbor’s strawberry allergy was related to emotions) that she later denied doing, but I got the impression that this was a topic that was probably best left unexamined. Too bad; looking back, I wonder what she would have shared.
A friend in elementary school showed me her copy of the “I Ching”, and although neither of us really understood what it all meant, we were fascinated by its cryptic messages.
We tried meditating. I didn’t know what to do with it, but found it an interesting exercise. I usually ended with “My mind is finally clear! Oh, now it’s not!” and felt like a failure, but intrigued.
During that period, I had curious experience that led me to suspect that we went past the end of our fingers/toes. There was more to us than what met the eye.
Yet, what to do with this knowledge? I know that for me, one reason I used to self-medicate was to try to find that deeper whatever, and let loose of this physical self that didn’t feel so good…the one I didn’t feel that comfortable with.
Fortunately, I’m now able to reconnect with that deeper self via meditation, energy modalities, prayer, chanting and other means that are more healing. Unexpectedly, a nice side effect was my feeling more at home with my physicality and appreciating the person who I am.
One day I realized that others probably respected me more than I did myself and finally understood how silly that was. How could they all be so wrong about me? Maybe I just needed to reexamine my own opinion.
Marianne Williamson reminds us that we all are shining lights and to suppress that is to deny our nature, which withholds our gifts from all.
It’s not egotistical to believe I have value. It’s smart! It’s generous and kind. When I share my Self with others, I am offering them my light as a beacon, a whisper, a reminder of who they are…another Light. It’s what we can do for each other.
Peace & Light,
Barbara
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