Life is So Humbling!
Life is so humbling!!
Oh, the ups & downs of existence, sometimes a bumpy road, other times its smooth sailing all the way. Why is that?
Last week I got sick for the first time since I can’t remember. In fact, Dean stated he could not remember my getting sick in the 4+ years that I’ve known him. Luckily, it didn’t last long but felt like it was forever!
Although I finally got around to doing some acupuncture & using essential oils the next day, I forgot to follow my usual courses and life got twisted. It was such an extraordinary feeling. Writing this blog has usually helped me maintain a smooth course, but I somehow hit a bump all right!
OK, how to climb back to the peace & light? When you’re feeling badly, either physically or emotionally, it’s a challenge to aim for the high road, to want to propel yourself, to remember to open and allow. It’s so easy to fold in and spiral down.
I just rememberd an event from years ago…I was having a very bad time with my first husband & we were separated. Our young son was experiencing the effects of our marital discord and cried a lot. I felt guilty over his distress.
I was feeling stuck in my job, my employer had promised me certain things that weren’t happening and she was full of excuses that rang false to me. I was so unhappy with my life!
One morning, ruminating on how awful everything was I thought, “what could be worse than this?” Ha!! Within seconds the phone rang and it was the police!
I was told that a car that had been owned by us was used by a drunk driver and had crashed into 4 cars that were parked, luckily no one was hurt.
I responded that we had sold the car a few weeks earlier but the policeman replied that since the new driver hadn’t registered it and the title was still in our name, we'd have to pay to repair all the wrecked cars! I told him I had a sales receipt signed by the new owner to prove we had sold the car but he stated it didn’t matter, we were legally responsible.
I gulped and said that somehow I’d figure out a way to make payments. I hung up and almost started crying…but then I began laughing.
I realized this was the universe's way of letting me know, what could be worse? Oh, plenty. I suddenly understood that I could make a choice, to either continue to spiral down into the darkness or make a change.
I chose change. At lunch I went out & found a resume service (this was back in the 80s).
The fellow said my background and experience, which I thought was really pathetic, was actually rather positive. He assured me he’d be able to
come up with a resume that was favorable and I even though I didn’t totally believe him (I figured he said that to everybody), I left his office feeling more hopeful.
After lunch I turned in my notice and felt even better! I called a temp agency who said they'd love to talk with me and things continued to feel upbeat. In addition to the temp agency I found a part time job that offered the flexibility and stability that I needed to deal with the other aspects of my life.
I understood that it was my choosing to move towards the light that elevated me and directed me towards more of what I wanted. Oh, and I never heard back from that policeman. He was definitely a whisper from the Light.
One day, I was feeling unsure and asked god to give me a sign that all was well. I was on a hilltop and looked out over the Portland skyline. I saw a cloud that looked like the most ridiculous thing. I don't remember what it was, I just know that I burst out laughing. I had my sign. Lighten up!
This past week I had been struggling somewhat to find my equilibrium….but writing this posting has helped me regain balance. I"m back in the flow....and humbly grateful.
Thanks to all who read it. You’re also part of my healing process.
With Peace & Light,